Yi-Ting の 布拉格 ?!

This Wednesday, I went to the hospital to see the report of my test of grave's disease. I bore great hope for the result and yet it failed me. I was so frustrated. Having taken medicine for over a year, why isn't there any progress? When I walked out of the hospital, I couldn't smile. I don't know when I can stop taking medicine everyday. The first thing I did when I went back home is cry myself out. I covered myself in the comforter and cried miserably for 10 mins.



The side effect is what bothers me most. I put on 5kgs since the time I took medicine. Well, what's the game the God is trying to play with me? I am not thin originally, now I am even bigger! These days, I made up my mind and tried my best to fight this situation. I changed my exercising frequency from 3 times a week to everyday. I worked out for half an hour everyday and did some stretching exercise. I lost about 3.5kgs. It's a great news for me. Another side effect is my heartbeat turns very fast, sometimes even 100times/min. So I have to take medicine to decelerate my heartbeat. When I drink coffee of drinks which contains caffeine, my heartbeat will then speed up.

However, knowing the result of the test now, knowing I have to take 3 more months of medicine to take the test again, I am so upset. I am afraid my losing-weight progress will be detained, for I have to take more dose of the medicine which might reduce the metabolism. Should I be thankful for this misery?

Maybe I should. For without it, I will always be the couch potato. It was a trouble for me to work out, even think of it. Now I have the habit of exercising, and I am enjoying it! Maybe it's not a game, it's a challenge the life send me. So I should be grateful, maybe.

Still, I turn upset when I think of the test and the fact that I am still taking medicine. But I couldn't give in to my sorrow. I should keep walking, keep trying. I must believe that I am capable to fight my destiny. I must believe.